Post Holiday Monday

I'm feeling really blah today. Actually I'm not feeling well at all. It's not just blah getting me down. I have a headache and my neck is really tense. My back hurts from the stress in my neck muscles....it's spreading! And my stomach feels queasy. I just wanna sit and cry and be left alone and curl up on my couch and watch tv. But watch what I want and not what kids want! That almost never happens! Im so cranky today! I talked to my Honey yesterday. We talked online. He shared some pics with me and i shared some with him. That was nice. Although the one i really wanted didn't come through! Maybe it will next time. It was a close up of him. I could actually really see his face. But when he tried to send it to me the computer read it as a file instead of a picture and it was blurry. It wouldnt come through clearly or save to my computer. Hopefully he can get it to come through next time. Then he got off the computer and called me. We talked but it seemed like such a short conversation. I got off the phone wanting so much more from him. I felt so empty afterwards. That never happens. Normally when he calls i'm so happy and just filled with love. But this time i just needed so much more from him and he can't give me what i need over the phone. I just need a hug. A real one. I need him to squeeze me tight and rub my back like he always does and tell me to quit worrying about things. Just that simple reassurance you know. But he can't do that when he's almost 6,000 miles away. I really really dislike deployment. Why does it have to be so long? I miss him so much today! Is this post holiday blues or just simply a bad day? I feel so awful for Steph since her hubby has to leave for training for a month. And not long after he gets back from training he will be over there near my Honey. Really near him actually. Much closer to him than i am to Steph. So i just hurt for her today. I know she is about to start her long journey of pain. I don't want her to have to feel like this. I don't want anyone to feel like this. It's just awful to sit and be watching tv and then all of a sudden you are crying and you really don't know why! Anyway.....i'm going to go try some excedrin and see if it helps my headache. Maybe tomorrow will be better!