Are you proud to be an American?

With all honesty, i can say I am Proud to be an American. I love that my husband is a soldier and fights for our freedom. Even though he has to be away from us WAY too much! He's doing it so that terrorists won't take over our country and to help those countries who have been under terroristic rule for so long to become free. It drives me insane when people say this war is all about oil. Get a newspaper, read up on things people, it has nothing to do with oil. Better yet, talk to a soldier, get the real story on what's going on over there, the media tells you only what they want to tell you. Unfortunately though that country does control a large portion of the crude oil so we get punished for everything by having high gas prices. Prices though that while a little ridiculous, i'll still pay knowing what my husband is doing. Knowing all the GOOD things he did while he was in Iraq. Knowing he helped those people in that village on the other side of the world and didn't take a single life while doing it. I'm even more proud when i think back and remember that my Dad did the same during his time, my Grandpa did the same in his time, many of my uncles and cousins have done the same. Our country has a LONG history of going to war to protect our freedoms and to HELP not hurt those in other countries who are being oppressed. And yet we still have those who feel that our country should just mind it's own business and stop the fighting....fighting that we did NOT start! But was forced upon us. Yes, our country has it's own troubles. Recession sends everything and everyone into a tail spin. We have drug problems and health problems. We have bad things that happen and are part of our every day lives. But we are still free, not under someone else's thumb all day. We can go to school, even if we are female. We can have a job of any kind, as long as we are qualified for it! We can go shopping, out to eat, fishing, hunting, pretty well anything we want to do anytime we want to do it. And we can worship freely, any religion we choose, any time we choose. Women....we can walk outside in shorts and tank tops, without our faces covered. We can kick our feet up on a table while having a conversation with others because showing someone the soles of our feet is not insulting. We are just relaxing while having a chat. Nothing at all wrong with that! I love the freedom of having wonderful neighbors that i can invite over for a bbq on a whim. I love having a wonderful husband that i can freely and openly walk around with while holding his hand. I love having two daughters that i can teach about our nation and our freedoms and i can openly teach them about God and love and all the things they need to know. I can take them out in public and enjoy having kids. We can play in parks and go swimming and doing lots of fun things. and i can teach them that women in other countries can't do these things. So we are doubly blessed to be American AND women! So on this Independence day, enjoy your bbq, your hot dogs and burgers, your friends, your family, and remember that you have all these things because of the soldiers who were willing to fight so far from their families to keep our country free. When you hear The Star Spangled Banner and you look at the flag waving in the breeze don't be afraid to shed a tear or two. It's perfectly ok and you won't be the only one....i can promise you!

Still Growing......Am I?

I was asked about a year ago to read and write a review of the Still Growing.....An Autobiography by Kirk Cameron. On the surface, most people who have seen this book have commented that they don't think they will read it or that it seemed kinda crazy for an actor so young to write such a book. I was intrigued because (1) I had such a crush on this guy when i was younger (2) he has become a good man and i wanted to know what happened in his life to make him the man he is and (3) i'll admit it, i like to read about the lives of celebreties, in particular those who were child stars and then after their shows were over, seemingly disappeared. Although Kirk Cameron never really disappeared, he just switched from mainstream Hollywood to the very limited Christian Hollywood, if you will. He even says in his book that he was once told of all the religions to pick in Hollywood he picked the most unaccepted. Well....that'd be because he didn't pick a "religion"....he chose God. An amazing thing to do considering the status he had at the time. You really have to read the book to understand how he got to this point and why it was such a difficult thing for him. Honestly, read the book anyway....it was a good read, a quick read (even if it did take me a year to do it.....i had circumstances beyond my control). The book can seriously be read in a day or two. It's short, but worth the read, in my opinion. It will never be regarded as great literature, but it is really worth the read. Anyway.....back to the topic at hand. We all know Kirk was a child actor. We saw him grow up on Growing Pains before our eyes. His character was funny and charming and a wonderful goofball. The child off the camera though was nothing like that. He came from a loving, family oriented home. The only boy with 3 younger sisters, caring, attentive parents who were always there for him. But he was shy. He hated the fame that came with acting. He didn't like that everyone thought he WAS Mike Seaver and approached him in public no matter what he was doing. He felt awkward as a pre-teen and teen going through puberty so publicly. He was raised in a house who believed in morality but not necessarily in Christianity. They believed in not drinking, smoking or doing drugs. They believed in not having sex before marriage and all the other things that good people believed in. They just didn't go to church. Kirk's father didn't want to mold his children's minds religiously, instead he wanted them to find their own way. It wasn't a bad way to grow up generally speaking. He had lots of friends from his neighborhood, a great family, and a dream job. But when he was 17 he couldn't help but think something was missing in his life, something big! He was seeing this girl who invited him to go to church with her family. Instead of saying no, like he considered doing, he went. This one thing gave him things to think about that would change his life! He had always considered himself an atheist. Thinking about God was just odd. He began to ask himself questions. Ultimately, he realized that God does in fact exist and he was missing out! From that moment on life took a new turn for him. He refused to do anything on camera that would not reflect well on his new found Christianity. Amazing for a young man on a hit tv show. Especially for someone of such a young age. Since that time he has married a wonderful woman. They have adopted 4 kids and had 2 more of their own. He has done movies such as the Left Behind series and Fireproof. He has programs running on major Christian networks. He really works hard to make sure God comes first in his life. Toward the end of his book, he asks some questions for the reader to consider. Really breaks Christianity down to its basics.......are you a sinner? Absolutely yes i am! Have you broken the 10 Commandments? WHAT? YES...one by one.....have you kept God number one in your life all the time? well.....no. Have you ever used the name of God, who gave you life in a way as to express disgust? well.....yeah i'm sure i have....i know i have. Have you lied? EVER....even once...any kind of lie...they are all the same.....of course i have. have you ever stolen anything? um yeah....taking anything that doesn't belong to you is stealing....it doesn't have to come from a store. Have you ever coveted something your friend or neighbor has? well yeah....i see things and wish i had them. Have you ever had other gods in your life? idolizing anything or anyone other than our one true God........well probably i'm sure there could be something. Have you ever committed murder? see here's the thing.....he is not just talking about taking a life......but God considers hatred the same as murder. So have you ever hated anyone? yeah....i can think of a person or two at the very least. here's a big one.....have you ever committed adultery? not just the act of it.....even lusting after someone other than your spouse.....and this does include premarital sex. um yeah...guilty. Go through each commandment one by one.....ask yourself. For reference go to Exodus 20. Just by my own admissions right there.....I am a lying, theiving, adulterous, murdering, idolizing, slanderous sinner. What would God want with me? Simple......he loves me. He loves me in a way that only a Father can love. He wants me to come to him. He wants my repentance. He wants me to say "Forgive me for these things, i am turning to you and only you. Show me the way to live for you." And the amazing part of that is he sent his ONLY son, his son who was perfect in every way, to die a horrendous death on a cross next to thieves and liars, and he did it all for me. Think of it this way.....if everyone else on Earth was perfect and you were the only sinner.....God would still have sent his son to die for you. He loves you that much. He loves me that much. Overwhelming isn't it! Just when i have things figured out, or so i think, something comes up and grabs me and snatches me back to reality. I will never have it all figured out. God intends to keep me growing everyday, the rest of my life. He has an amazing plan for me, and for you. But we have to keep learning every day. We have to seek him every day. Reading this book was enlightening for me. I needed something to snap me out of my hum drum life, to get me back in the swing of growing. Seeing that someone else who seems to have it more together than me is still growing and learning was just what i needed. Like the old song says..."He's still working on me, to make me what i ought to be, it took him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the earth, jupiter and mars. How loving and patient he must be, he's still working on me."

And Such Is The Military Life

I really enjoy when my Honey is home. It's the greatest times of my life. Unfortunately because of the military lifestyle, it's not often that he is home. After being gone for 14 months, he has been home for 6 months. We are now officially into the longest span of time that we have been together since 2006! When he left for basic training in August 2006 he was gone for 11 weeks. Then we drove down to see him for 2 days. Actually we spent like 8 hours with him one afternoon and then like 10 hours with him the next day. No overnight with him. But that's the rules. Then we came back home and he went on to AIT. Seven weeks later he got to come home for Christmas for 2 weeks! YAY that was great but it flew right by. He went back to Texas after the holidays. I went to visit him over Easter weekend. That was nice. No overnight visit again but at least we got to spend the days and until like 10-11 pm together. After my visit, he was still there for a few more weeks. When he came home at the very end of April, he got to stay with us. We moved to NY and he got settled in his new unit. Four months later they deployed. Now here we are 6 months after the deployment ended and we are gearing up for another deployment! He's in the field this week. We won't see him again until the weekend. He'll be in the field again most of next week too, i believe. In fact for the next 5 weeks if he is not in the field he will be going in VERY early and getting home VERY late. So i won't be seeing him much at all it seems. Unfortunately this next 5 weeks covers my birthday and our anniversary. There are times when being a military wife is the loneliest thing in the world. I'm not going to be out looking for someone to fill that void where he belongs. I'm not the type to do those things. I'll live in my loneliness. I do have the girls to keep me busy. But seriously they hate when he's gone too. So they are not all fun and games either. He's the one who makes my day brighter and makes feel complete. No one else would ever be able to fill that void! And when i see him again, it's the most amazing feeling in the world. I could never allow dishonesty to cloud that moment for me. I just miss him so much when he's not home. At least when he is in the field like this, i can still talk to him. He has called like 4 times today. The good part about him being the medic is that he's not always busy like the other guys are. A lot of the time he is in the field with them in case something goes wrong or someone gets ill or something like that. They have to do additional training for their jobs and he's there in case they need him. Sometimes they let him join in though so he's not so bored. LOL Anyway.....i'm just frustrated today because he's gone for the week and i know that we only have a few more months until he's gone for a year again. At least this time it is only one year. Those extra months beyond a year make it sooooo much harder!

Thoughts on Sex....yes you read that right

I was on Facebook this morning when i saw one of my friends, a former pastor of mine, posted a link to a video that he and his wife had watched. He said it was a teaching on sex and made him want to be a better husband. I thought...hmmm....interesting. So i clicked over there just to check it out. I ended up watching the entire hour. It was really very interesting! First of all, Pastor Mark Driscoll has a way of speaking that makes you want to hear more. Secondly, he's so matter of fact on this subject, i had to know what he was going to cover. Now i have to say, this is a series he did on the book of Song of Solomon. I only watched the first one. I plan to watch the rest after seeing this one. So before i forget, here's the link..... http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/the-peasant-princess?page=1 to the whole series. If you go to page two, i watched the one entitled Let Him Kiss Me. I gotta tell ya, i was wishing my hubby were home. LOL Not only to watch it with me, but because after watching it, i just wanted to be near him, to hold him close and to kiss him. It made me want to be a better wife! He's reading the first part of Song of Solomon where the wife is talking to her husband in this one. I loved the way he laid it all out there so plainly for us. I enjoy this book of the Bible. It's so beautiful and poetic and romantic. But the way he puts it into layman's terms so we can all fully understand it is great! I don't want to say too much about it because i want you to go see it yourselves! Anyway.....my actual thoughts on it.....I have always believed that sexual intimacy between husband and wife is a gift from God. And that in the bond of matrimony you are free to be who you are with that other person. You don't have to worry about being too fat or too thin. You don't have to hold back. And you DON'T have wait on him to come to you for anything! You can instigate anything you are wanting and you can just tell him what you want from him. That's the beauty of marriage. And God sees it as beautiful. It's not to be hidden. It's not gross or a necessity. It's not just for procreation. It's for intimacy, comfort, PLEASURE.....as long as it is with your spouse! And that's just how sex was meant to be! Jay and I are the type of couple that are always holding hands, or kissing, or hugging, or something. We are the type who cant keep their hands off each other. It doesn't matter if we are in public or sitting at home watching tv. Yep, we are the parents who totally gross their kids out with all the kissing and lovey stuff. But we also know that they will appreciate it when they are older and they will be thankful we showed them what love looks like. We can show them how to treat the one they love and how that person should treat them. We have daughters. We want them to learn from us how they should be treated by the men in their lives. One day they will be grown and dating and looking for a life partner. We want to set the example for them so they will know how to treat their spouse and how they should be treated in return. That's not to say everything has been perfect in our relationship. I've mentioned to many of you who read this blog that we have had our problems. We have been to the very rock bottom of our marriage and had to build a new foundation from scratch. We were married for 7 years when he cheated on me. Repeatedly for a year. He finally told me in our 9th year of marriage. About 3 weeks before he left for basic training. He said it didn't mean anything it was only sex, they never went out or anything. I thought WHAT it's only sex, but that's the part of our relationship that is ONLY mine. You have other friendships. You have people you talk to and do things with. You eat dinner with others. Other people are in and out of your life. But sex is only for me and you. That's it! So giving that to another person is the most hurtful thing your spouse can do. But instead of getting angry and filing for divorce, i turned to God. I sought guidance. We used the time he was gone to say all the things we needed to say. We wrote letters and got everything out in the open. We have used the times he has been gone to court each other. We have built a new foundation and started over with the basics in our relationship. We have learned to truly love each other. And we will celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary next month. I took some things for granted in the early years of our marriage. I took him for granted. Now after all we have been through....i see that. And now i can honestly say that i LOVE having him. I love the freedom i have with him. I love that he loves my imperfections and not just the good stuff. I love his imperfections too. I love that i can tell him that i love his imperfections and he knows that i'm not being cruel. I'm just telling him that i love him, unconditionally, and not because he's good looking or a good person. I love ALL of him! And he can tell me the same things. It's part of the freedom of marriage. I love that when we are alone, i can tell him anything about any subject. I love that i can look at myself and see one thing but he looks at me and sees nothing but beauty. Some days i wonder what he's thinking! But i love that he sees that. I love the safety and security i feel when i'm next to him. I find comfort in being close to him. These are all great things! Anyway....i am just going on and on. this blog is forever long! LOL I'll let ya know when i watch others in the series. I'm sure i will have thoughts on them too! Go check it out!!!! Seriously! GO!!!

New Home City, Still No Home

We are at our new home post. Finally made it to Ft Stewart, GA. We've been here a few days now. We are still waiting on a new home. There doesn't seem to be an opening on post. We have looked at some places off post but they are in less than desirable neighborhoods. I do know a few people in the area though so that has helped me be not so lonely. We have got to get a home soon! My kids really need to be back in school! They are starting to wear on my nerves. The upside is though there is a playground here and the weather is nice. So we do get to go outside and do things. We are thinking of going to the beaches and Savannah this weekend. The girls are really excited about that. They can't wait to see a real ocean for the first time! That should be fun for all of us. Well today's blog is going to be short. There isn't a lot to say right now and my computer battery is almost dead again. Just wanted to let you all know i am still with the land of the living and doing ok. Just trying to get settled in here! Talk to you as soon as i can again!

Packing Day

So here we are in late February. It's 2 days from Kaitlyn's 11th birthday. I can't believe she is almost 11! As usual the time just flies by! Today is packing day for our upcoming pcs. Packing day is many different things. It's great because i'm not packing the house! After this is done the movers are coming tomorrow to get everything. But then it's weird because I'm just sitting here, messing around on my computer, doing whatever while other people are doing the work. I feel like the epitome of the spoiled military wife at the moment. It's an odd feeling to sit in your house, surrounded by strangers who are going through your things and packing them away for travel. And all you can do is hang out somewhere out of the way. So i have spend most of my day right here on my couch doing what i apparently do best....lol. It's also weird to look around and see all my things in boxes and rooms mostly empty now. This time tomorrow it will be all empty. All except for bits of trash left laying here and there. Then the real fun begins. I get to CLEAN this house! Oh yay, what joy! (please note the sarcastic tone) who knew a family could get one house so messy in just a year! We are only 4 people. Only 3 of us were here most of the time though. But still.....just daily living leaves lots of mess behind. oh well.....at least when you move after only a year and nine months it gives you a chance to clean out all those things that would just keep building up and building up over years and years. I felt like we had soooooo much stuff all this time. There was always clutter in corners and stacks of things here and there. And now to see it all boxed up.....it doesn't seem like so much after all. seems like such a small amount for our family of 4 to have. Granted if you saw the trash pile outside waiting on the trash guys, you might know WHY there doesnt seem to be so much now! Thank God they come tomorrow! I'm so happy they don't mind picking up loads of extra stuff and arent the type that only take what fits in the can with the lid closed. I'd be in a world of trouble if they were like that! anyway.......i can't believe moving time is here. I have only a little more than one week left in NY. Never did go to Canada, Niagra, or NYC. Did go to Lake Placid and various little places near me. All in all, living here has been good for us.....COLD, but good just the same. LOL

Ho Hum I Feel Like A Bum

I never seem to get around to blogging anymore. I don't really know why, just lack of things to blog about i suppose. There isn't a lot going on around our house. Jay has been on leave for the past month. We had so many plans. We were going to go to New York City or Niagra Falls. Maybe spend a weekend at Lake Placid. Just see some sites around here before we leave New York. Guess what we did......NOTHING. Not one thing! Here we are just a day or so before he goes back to work now and we have literally sat and stared at each other for a month. We have barely even left this house! The ONLY traveling that was done was done by him. His first weekend of leave he went to New Jersey to see his friend. Otherwise, we have taken the girls to see Bedtime Stories. That was a funny movie, by the way. And the girls both stayed the night at a friends house one night and we went to dinner by ourselves. That was it! Otherwise, we have basically stayed home and done much of nothing. I feel like such a bum. We have been staying up later and later and sleeping half the day. It's crazy! He will be going back soon and although i will miss having him around all day, it will be good for all of us to get back on our schedule. I will hate having to get up so early again. But it is better for us all when we are on a regular schedule. This sleeping all day is really awful! Doesn't sound like it would be, but it is. You can't get anything done when you are sleeping after all! I think i have seen almost every episode of NCIS ever made though. Now we are down to about 3.5 weeks until the Battalion Ball. And we are at about 6 weeks until we PCS. Also we have about 5 weeks until Kaitlyn's birthday. Lots going on in a short amount of time. We have some packing and sorting to do here. We have arrangements for movers to make. A party for Kaitlyn to plan. Not to mention Valentine's day. Sounds like this time is going to FLY by! Oh and there is the doctor's appointment's I have to go to, so who knows what will come of those! There is the slight possibility of having my gall bladder removed during all this too! Forgive me if i don't update again for a while.....it looks as though i will be pretty busy!