Rain Rain Go Away!

I'm feeling very blue today. It's cold and it's raining. There are Halloween parties every where for the kids. I just don't wanna get out in this weather to go to any of them. I hate to disappoint friends who are expecting us. But it's just so nasty out! There's a meeting on post that i am supposed to go to also but i just don't have the heart to get out and go! They are having homecoming ceremonies on post at the same time as our meeting. I am so happy for everyone who is having someone come home. I really am! All my friends who's husbands have come home this past week....i couldn't be happier for you! I think it's fantastic! Doesn't keep me from feeling a little sad at the same time though. We have such a long long long long long time to go! I don't want to go to the meeting today and be around happy people! I just don't want to! I want to be at home feeling sad because my husband is still there! I know all these people have been where i am right now. I know they have gone through their 15 months. They have put in their time and desserve this wonderful ending! But i'm still going through it. And looking ahead we have sooooooo long to go! Seems like next year will never get here! Like we will never get our big day too! So i'm feeling sorry for myself today! Now watch....it's rained ALL day but it'll quit just time for me to get us all dressed to go out. Just as a way to let me know that we need to get out. The best way to cure the blues after all is to be around people and have a good time. Maybe that's part of my problem. I don't want to have a good time. I want to feel sorry for myself today. I don't want people to cheer me up. That day that i posted about last ended up being a good day. It started out all kinds of bad, but ended up really good! Jay called and we got to talk for a while. Then Ashley came over and showed me her new car and stuff. She is so good at cheering me up! Yesterday i was ok. Kids got out of school early and we watched tv and did some cleaning up. Then i went to take a hot bath. But during my bath....just as i was relaxing into it really well.....Jay got online. So i got out so i could talk to him. That was nice. It just seems that he has less and less to say lately. I know he doesn't want to scare and worry me with things going on over there but still....tell me something! I want to know what is going on with you! If you are having a bad day....TELL ME! You expect me to tell you! I keep feeling like something is going on with him but he wont talk to me! I feel like all our conversations are about me and the kids. I get off the phone saddened that i have learned nothing new about him. Happy to hear his voice but sad because he didn't tell me anything! Maybe all this is brought on by the rain! I don't know! I am just so sad today!