Grab a chair and some coffee this could take a while!

So lately on my very supportive and much loved christian military wives board there have been many many posts on how we treat our spouses. Do we treat them as a best friend when we so often refer to them as a best friend? Do we say hurtful things to them? Do we serve them in love as we should? I have spent much much time over the past year or so working on my relationship with my husband. I want it to be fabulous! We are soooo much better off now than we were. I can truly call him my best friend and mean those words. I watch what i say to him and concentrate more of words of affirmation than on harsh things. I try to really make sure he KNOWS without a doubt how i feel about him every day! Even while he is deployed....i tell him as often as i can that i am completely in love with him. Meaning....i love him with all of my being, i know he isn't perfect and i love him. He means everything to me. And his absense leaves a whole in my life. But then i was thinking.....if we can put this much work into our marriage.....why can't we put this kind of work into our parent/child relationship? I have been complaining a LOT lately about how my kids are behaving while their daddy is gone. If you didn't notice read on down a couple days...you'll see. Kaitlyn keeps insisting that i show her no respect while i am insisting that she show me some first. But at the same time....am i watching what i say to them? Do i lay guilt trips on them to get them to do things? Yes i do! Does it work? No it doesnt! I do this because it was learned behavior from my mom. It normally worked with me but i am not as stubborn as my offspring! So instead of using guilt with them or words of anger toward them....maybe i should try words of affirmation. Will they respect me more if i do that? I'm sure they will. I would have preferred words of affirmation over guilt from my mother. I respect my mother but it's taken a LOT to completely understand our relationship. But i'm a mom now too and that makes a world of difference. I can't wait til my kids are moms for us to have a good relationship. We need to get this worked out now! I was told recently that one of the biggest things i can do for them is to pray for them on my knees everyday, but make sure they know i am doing it too. They know i pray for their daddy and others. But do they know i pray for them too? I made a point to let them know that i know they hurt too with daddy gone. I told them that i think about that everyday and that i pray for them everyday and Kaitlyn thanked me for it. Clearly i should do that more often. So was just thinking that if we apply these things to our parent/child relationships how would things change?! I'm going to make a conscious effort to apply some of these principles in my house this week and i'll let ya know! As for other business.....Jay was online earlier today. I missed him again. The bad part is I WAS HOME!!!! Someone turned the volume down on my computer and i was in the bathroom getting dressed. The girls were both in the living room the whole time and Kaitlyn noticed when he signed out! So i missed him. I cried for a little while after that! But i'm ok now. It'll all be fine. Like i said a couple weeks ago when i missed him online....it's bound to happen. But i was here this time! That's what had me so upset this time. So i think i'll let you go now!