Well....well.....well

Not sure what is up with me this week. Last week i had tons of stuff to talk about on here. I was a blogging machine! But this week....NOTHING! There's nothing going on really. Ashley has been here all week. She went home this morning. I've been babysitting everyday. That's better than last week but somedays still really not great. My biggest issue lately is as always with my kids. Today Keliah is sick. We were up literally every 15 minutes last night because she was throwing up. It was awful! Ashley washed her hair at 1130 last night. After she'd just had a bath at 8. Then i was giving her a bath at 415 this morning. I have a TON of laundry i need to go do now. I have NO more clean towels after all that and i really want a shower! I feel like it's on me or something and i HATE puke! The smell, the sound, the site....all of it! She's feeling a little better this morning but she still can't even hold down clear liquids. So i'm giving her space and letting her rest and drink as she feels she can. She said "i know how to survive a stomach virus, it's not my first." She's so funny! As for Kaitlyn, we are just still having a hard time getting along. Nothing i do is ever enough for her. I make a really good deal with her to get her to clean her room. I offered to buy her a full year's subscription to the magazine she loves and always asks for at the store if she will just clean her room. 3 days later.....NOTHING has been done in there! Apparently she didn't understand the part where it must be done in a reasonable time.....Like by Sunday! Instead she said "how about 2 years? i'll do it today if you buy a 2 year subscription" I thought i was being reasonable to offer one year! That's like $40!!!! She just infuriates me because she is sooooooo greedy! She has so much and just wants more and more! So i quit buying. You think you need more...well i can show you what it means to need! I'll give you nothing but the required things according to the law for your survival and we'll see how bad of a mother i am! Geeze! I try to be good to them. I do things with them, i spend time with them, i get them things that they want. Keliah is happy with what i do for her. Kaitlyn is just never pleased! I ask for help with something and she looks at me like i'm stupid because i had the nerve to ask her to do something! Neither of them have lifted a finger to do a chore in this house since their daddy left. I know this is hard on them. I know they miss him. I also know if he was here she would NEVER act like this! Keliah had some attitude when he first left but she's back to normal behavior now. Kaitlyn is just so angry with me for some reason. She screams at everyone all the time. She refuses to talk to her school counselor about it. She quit writing in her journal. I just don't know what else to do. Of course it doesn't help that we are always together! When they are not in school, they are with me. I don't have a sitter for them. We don't know many people here and i am not the type to just call one of their friend's mom's and say "Hey can you take my kids for a couple hours so i can be alone?" I am the type who feels that they are my kids and they are my responsibility to raise. I would so love someone to help me out though! Just give me a couple hours to go out to dinner with a friend and no kids! Or to go to a movie. Or just clean my house! Something where i can sit with no kids around and just be happy for a bit. Not that i am never happy with them. We do things that are fun and we laugh together. But i need a break! It's been 2 months, 1 week, and a day since he left and i've had my kids non-stop since then. I'm not used to that. Not to mention that since we moved here in May, they have been with us non-stop. So technically even though Jay was here from May-September, i am still mom so i deal with all the not fun stuff that we have to do daily. Which means since we moved here i haven't had a break! AT ALL!!! So i think taking a night away from each other....just a couple hours....whatever would do us all some good! I've reached a point that i am having headaches all the time again. That's never good for any of us. So anyway....that's my deployment day today. I'm stressed! I'm at my wits end! I keep forgetting the smallest things. I just need a vacation!