So I was thinking....

I really love first thing in the morning. I am so not a morning person, per se. I don't like to get up early! I'm getting better at it. But i've never particularly enjoyed it. I have come to love first thing in the morning. Just after the kids get on the bus, i have my coffee in hand, the house is quiet, it's just me. There is a whole day ahead of me. Sometimes i have lots of things to do, sometimes i have a whole day to just sit and read or write or enjoy what i do. I realized this morning that it has come to be my favorite time of day. I occassionally will even sit on my porch in my favorite chair with my coffee while it is still cool and enjoy the crispness of the air. I used to be an afternoon person. What am i saying.....i used to be a night person! The older i get though, the more i am learning to appreciate the morning. The beginning of the day. The newness of it all. A fresh start. Maybe my Dad was right. He told me once that coffee sitting outside first thing in the morning all by yourself was the best part of the day. And there was a reason he chose the name Dawn for my middle name. I think I am beginning to understand. It's his favorite time of day. It makes me wonder though.......when my parents were married did he ever go sit outside in the early morning hours and enjoy it like he does now? Does my mom know he loves that part of the day? If i were to ever tell her that he said that to me, would she have any idea or would she say "your father?" Not that it matters.....mom is remarried and she is happy and my stepdad is a great guy! He loves her in a way that my dad never knew how to express. And he treats us like we are his own. But my dad is my dad, ya know. And i do wonder if she ever got to know him in those ways. Or did she stay so focused on the things she was so angry about all the time that she didn't bother? The same way he can't tell me anything about the things that mattered to her. Because he held on to what he wanted in a wife and didn't want her to change, EVER, so he didn't bother to get to know her as she grew and changed. Gee.....wonder why that marriage ended? I love my parents but sometimes they are just clueless! LOL i wonder how many more years it will be before my own girls say that about Jay and I. LOL We have done a great job at learning from our parents mistakes. Especially mistakes i saw my own parents making. I'm still working on some things. But as a couple we have worked really hard and we are doing very well. He's the love of my life and i just can't imagine not staying involved in all he does. I can't imagine him drinking his coffee outside in the mornings and me not know it. I can't imagine him drinking coffee and me not stir in the sugar and creamer for him! LOL (while he's home that is----obviously i can't right now) But he does come home soon! Man it is getting sooo soooo soooooo close now! I can just almost taste it! YAY~~~i was certain this was going to take forever to come! But the time has really gone faster than I thought it would. Looking back some of the times seem like they were ages and ages ago. But overall the time seems to have just flown right by. I can't wait for the next weeks to go on by just as quickly. I pray we never have to do this again! But IF we do.....I know i can do it. I will be ok. I have a strength now that a year ago i wasn't sure i could find. It took some time, and some days it falters, but i did find it! And i certainly didn't find it all on my own! I have had lots of help getting here! I'll get to that blog later though! For now....i need to run! Have a great day!