The Trouble With Deployment is.......

I know you are all dyin to know the answer to that one....the trouble with deployment is.....it's too LONG! Ok so that's only ONE of the many troubles with deployment. LOL I was recently re-reading old blogs and journal entries from the last deployment. It was VERY obvious that i had problem with the lack of communication we were experiencing. That was a very long, very lonely deployment. He was gone about 14 months. We got to talk on the computer a few times a week and about once maybe twice a week on the phone. Now, i realize for some people that's not a lack of communication at all! I know people who literally only spoke to their husbands once a month, if they were fortunate enough to NOT miss his call. They had no computer time or anything. So in comparison, we were good. But for me personally, it was bad. This time, i have NO complaints about a lack of communication...although i could use some today....over all, it's been GREAT! We talk all the time....on the phone, on the computer, posting on FB....we are communicating like crazy. And being silly and serious and just normal. Except that he's 7,000 miles away and i can't see him. I can't hold his hand and i can't look in his eyes. His eyes say so much. I tell him often that i can tell what kind of mood he's in by looking in his eyes. They are so pretty and blue/gray. They show his sadness, happiness, mischievousness, exhaustion, every emotion. I can hear these things in his voice over the phone, but i miss looking in his eyes. I just miss him being here. That's my problem with deployment. It's just too stinking long. I feel like the Army has stolen him and i get him for the occasional long weekend or vacation. Of course, by occasional, i mean every like 4-9 months i get him briefly and then they take him again. Seriously in 3 1/2 years time, the longest period of time i've had him here was 9 months. And even then he was gone to the field and training when needed. I'm just sick of separation. My kids need their Daddy and I need my husband. PLEASE Army, can he come home soon and just be here for a while? He's done excellent work for you guys. He's done his job and done it very well. But he has a job here too. And it's been lacking lately, no thanks to you. I'm doing my best, but i'm one person, i'm certainly no substitute for him. I can do the yard work, pay the bills, do minor repairs. I can take care of the kids, cook meals, buy groceries, take out the trash. I CAN do all these things. HOWEVER, there is a reason we were meant to have a helpmate. There i a reason i have a husband. We are supposed to HELP each other. I honestly don't know how single parents do it. I'm not a single parent, and i don't like living like one. Want to know another problem with deployment? People just dont get it. Unless they have been through it, they don't get it. I often get comments like "I wish my husband would go away for a while". yeah, you might.....but trust me, not like this. There's the ever popular "my husband was on a business trip for like a week and i almost went crazy. i know it's hard" Yep, it's hard! That first week was really difficult. The other 14 months......you have NO idea! it gets harder the longer he's gone. He's tired, i'm tired, the kids are frustrated and we are all just really edgy! (to say the least) Then there's the times we get accused of shutting everyone out and trying to carry the burden alone. Not carrying the burden alone, i assure you. I have friends. I have wonderful friends.....friends who understand. They know when i say "i'm having one of those days" not to ask. Just offer a hug, a cup of coffee, a prayer and move on. They know when i say "could use some prayers right now" that i won't be telling them why and they don't need to know why. I realize i have family and friends who want to help. I realize i have people in my life who just really know nothing about the military. But sometimes i just need my military family. Another thing people don't get is that military people are not rich! Yes, we have healthcare. Not the best healthcare, but we do have healthcare. Yes, we have housing allowances. Trust me, they often barely cover rent or mortgage payments. Rent in military communities tends to be kinda high. Because people know what the housing allowance is and they will charge every dime of it because they know housing is always a necessity. and there is often a shortage of it! So then all the rest of the bills that should have come out of the housing allowance must come out of our pay. Which seriously is not that much! We took a big ole pay cut to go military. but ironically, we are doing better. part of that i think is maturity. part of it is the kids are older n out of diapers n such. part of it is deployment pay. yeah we get a little extra to have him gone for so long. i'd rather have him here. i think people think military people have lots of money because we don't pay for healthcare and we do tend to have newer cars and stuff. Well....let me tell you, it's easy to get a loan when you tell them you are military. They know you aren't getting fired and you just can't quit! Unless something unforeseen should happen, you are bound by contract to keep that job! and most military people i know are seriously in debt because of it. I love my husband, i support his every decision, i believe the Army has been good for us in many ways. but i also know that we are not wealthy, we do not "have it made", and i'd trade what we do have to have him here any day!