Thoughts on Sex....yes you read that right

I was on Facebook this morning when i saw one of my friends, a former pastor of mine, posted a link to a video that he and his wife had watched. He said it was a teaching on sex and made him want to be a better husband. I thought...hmmm....interesting. So i clicked over there just to check it out. I ended up watching the entire hour. It was really very interesting! First of all, Pastor Mark Driscoll has a way of speaking that makes you want to hear more. Secondly, he's so matter of fact on this subject, i had to know what he was going to cover. Now i have to say, this is a series he did on the book of Song of Solomon. I only watched the first one. I plan to watch the rest after seeing this one. So before i forget, here's the link..... http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/the-peasant-princess?page=1 to the whole series. If you go to page two, i watched the one entitled Let Him Kiss Me. I gotta tell ya, i was wishing my hubby were home. LOL Not only to watch it with me, but because after watching it, i just wanted to be near him, to hold him close and to kiss him. It made me want to be a better wife! He's reading the first part of Song of Solomon where the wife is talking to her husband in this one. I loved the way he laid it all out there so plainly for us. I enjoy this book of the Bible. It's so beautiful and poetic and romantic. But the way he puts it into layman's terms so we can all fully understand it is great! I don't want to say too much about it because i want you to go see it yourselves! Anyway.....my actual thoughts on it.....I have always believed that sexual intimacy between husband and wife is a gift from God. And that in the bond of matrimony you are free to be who you are with that other person. You don't have to worry about being too fat or too thin. You don't have to hold back. And you DON'T have wait on him to come to you for anything! You can instigate anything you are wanting and you can just tell him what you want from him. That's the beauty of marriage. And God sees it as beautiful. It's not to be hidden. It's not gross or a necessity. It's not just for procreation. It's for intimacy, comfort, PLEASURE.....as long as it is with your spouse! And that's just how sex was meant to be! Jay and I are the type of couple that are always holding hands, or kissing, or hugging, or something. We are the type who cant keep their hands off each other. It doesn't matter if we are in public or sitting at home watching tv. Yep, we are the parents who totally gross their kids out with all the kissing and lovey stuff. But we also know that they will appreciate it when they are older and they will be thankful we showed them what love looks like. We can show them how to treat the one they love and how that person should treat them. We have daughters. We want them to learn from us how they should be treated by the men in their lives. One day they will be grown and dating and looking for a life partner. We want to set the example for them so they will know how to treat their spouse and how they should be treated in return. That's not to say everything has been perfect in our relationship. I've mentioned to many of you who read this blog that we have had our problems. We have been to the very rock bottom of our marriage and had to build a new foundation from scratch. We were married for 7 years when he cheated on me. Repeatedly for a year. He finally told me in our 9th year of marriage. About 3 weeks before he left for basic training. He said it didn't mean anything it was only sex, they never went out or anything. I thought WHAT it's only sex, but that's the part of our relationship that is ONLY mine. You have other friendships. You have people you talk to and do things with. You eat dinner with others. Other people are in and out of your life. But sex is only for me and you. That's it! So giving that to another person is the most hurtful thing your spouse can do. But instead of getting angry and filing for divorce, i turned to God. I sought guidance. We used the time he was gone to say all the things we needed to say. We wrote letters and got everything out in the open. We have used the times he has been gone to court each other. We have built a new foundation and started over with the basics in our relationship. We have learned to truly love each other. And we will celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary next month. I took some things for granted in the early years of our marriage. I took him for granted. Now after all we have been through....i see that. And now i can honestly say that i LOVE having him. I love the freedom i have with him. I love that he loves my imperfections and not just the good stuff. I love his imperfections too. I love that i can tell him that i love his imperfections and he knows that i'm not being cruel. I'm just telling him that i love him, unconditionally, and not because he's good looking or a good person. I love ALL of him! And he can tell me the same things. It's part of the freedom of marriage. I love that when we are alone, i can tell him anything about any subject. I love that i can look at myself and see one thing but he looks at me and sees nothing but beauty. Some days i wonder what he's thinking! But i love that he sees that. I love the safety and security i feel when i'm next to him. I find comfort in being close to him. These are all great things! Anyway....i am just going on and on. this blog is forever long! LOL I'll let ya know when i watch others in the series. I'm sure i will have thoughts on them too! Go check it out!!!! Seriously! GO!!!